You see, I have this friend. A friend I have had for the last 20+ years. This particular friend and I have been through a lot. Our lives, friendship and love for each other has ebbed and flowed. I have known this person since I was 8 years old. Over the years we have stayed in touch and I have watched this friend accumulate the 'perfect' life. Which includes the perfect career, the perfect house, the perfect spouse, the perfect car, with the perfect 2.5 kids.
And we had lunch not too long ago, to catch up. I will skip the boring part of the 'catching up' and head straight to the meat.
As we were chatting about life, and I stated that money had been tight, they said:
"You should just get a job"
I responded with, "you could hire me" to which they backpedaled.... quickly. I quickly followed up with:
'You know I have been writing and currently have 6 books published, right?' and
'Money is tight, self-publishing is expensive and book sales have been slow, I am undeterred. I love what I do and I'm going to just keep working as hard as I have been and things will turn around.'
Their response:
"You could be so awesome if...."
My. Jaw. Dropped. I didn't hear anything after that.
I was silently raging.
I had nothing else to say.
I kindly finished my meal and said my good-byes.
Still shocked.
After 20 years of knowing this person, of being friends for so long.... I was stunned. It took me a while and a very long walk home to come to the following conclusion.
My value, and the value of my brothers and sisters with college degrees and no 'job' isn't based on some arbitrary idea of:
'what I can do for someone else' or 'what someone will pay for me.'
My value is ME.
Just living, breathing and existing has value.
Not to mention my ideas, passions, educated opinions and connections. I am not going to just go out on the job market to pimp myself out to the highest bidder. I am worth more than that and refuse to de-value myself.
Take note: You are worth more than that, do not devalue yourself. EVER.
I say NEVER get a JOB!
p.s. For those of you that love numbers as much as I do, HERE is a great report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and US Department of Labor about the status of the 'job' market in the USA today.
I can totally agree with you Mrs.Jones, but maybe your friend is not feeling in control of themselves? Perhaps the life you see as perfect seems empty, and rather than face it and all that it would mean to them is expressing it by trying to help the people they care about. I have heard that some people act that way when they don't feel in control of themselves? But there is always the chance that your friend has turned into a shallow self serving person as well. Thanks for sharing.
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