Pea Soup is just an excuse to make more bacon

One day, when the house was clean (RARE with 3 other roommates). I got a crazy little idea of making pea soup. Now, first of all, if you know me... you know I don't cook.

So one would ask.... where would you get this idea?
Well, I got it because the night before I saw 'The Boy' eating pea soup out of a Campbell soup can (not raw, that would be gross, but he cooked it in a pan with milk).
I
Was
Shocked.

The Boy is amazing.
But, I don't know if I've ever seen him eat something green soft and squishy EVER.
Not at Thanksgiving (spinach).
Not in any SE Asia country.
Not EVER.

So.... ok. I can get over that...
But then I asked...
Me: "What are you eating?"
Him: "Pea Soup"
Not stopping the rhythm of shoveling pea soup into his mouth. Not to breathe, not to talk and to barely respond.
My curious mind was totally intrigued.... this man likes pea soup? So I ask....
Me: "You like Pea Soup?"
Him: "Oh YEAH"
Thinking to myself... wow? really?
Slurp
swallow
Him: "Love it"
another spoonful.
thinking... hmmm....
Slurp, swallow, spoon, slurp swallow spoon, slurpswallowspoon,slurpswallowspoon over and over and over again until the bowl was empty.
Almost licked clean kind of empty.

Whereby... he looked at his bowl, then headed back to the stove to get a second helping, then a third to eat every single drop.

I just sat there dumbfounded.

So... I thought to myself, I love pea soup but refuse to eat it out of a can... my mom made it once (then she said she would never make it again .... and would just buy the cans, which I refused to eat) Anyway, she made it with onions and carrots and ham and all sorts of stuff... I could do that! I could make pea soup!
It can't be that hard AND it's gotta taste better than a sodium laden can'o'fat I payed $3 for with no flavor! can of soup.
So, the next day, I packed up my backpack and headed to the market. Determined to buy the best ingredients needed to make the most amazing pea soup EVER!
(But really.... secretly.... I was just looking for another excuse to buy thick sliced bacon.)
I set out on a mission, I was gonna kick Campbell's Pea Soup right in the ASS!

So I did.
Here's how I made it.

In a saucepan with olive oil, clarify
1 Onion
1 Clove (the whole thing... not just one sliver) of Garlic (use the squishy thing to make it all mushy and into pieces.

While that is clarifying....
FRY BACON! I added one whole pound.... you could probably do 1 1/2.

Then chop the bacon up into bits.
Then,
In a huge pot
put the onions, garlic, and bacon in.
Add
2 cups of water
1 cup of whole milk (you could use cream - but nothing less in fat that whole milk)
1 package of diced baby carrots (no finger pieces this time)
4 stalks of celery

Rinse and add entire package of split green peas (not the 'soak overnight' kind).

Add a whole bunch of stuff that was in our herb cabinet, (not to mention a few ingredients that I'm sure I missed) salt and pepper to make it taste good while you stir, simmer and taste for about 2 hours.
I just cooked that shit and it is
delicous.
And that is....
A HUGE FUCKING DEAL.
and...
Now.
It is served. In 2 bowls. One for me, one for him.
I take a bite... and ask:
"How do you like it"
"It's good"
Slurp, swallow, spoon, slurp, swallow, spoon.

He went back for seconds.
And thirds.

And the pot was still full on the stove.

and the next day.
seconds.
Thirds.
and we have been eating pea soup every. single. day.
For over a week....
So sick of soup.
So sick of peas.
So sick of green slime in my mouth.... but I just choked down the very very very last bowl of FUCKING PEA SOUP!
Blech.
I hate it and will never eat it again.
And if "The Boy" wants it... he can buy himself a can of it.