How to piss off a Bartender.

Over the weekend, a very lucky man in Seattle by the name of Andrew became the product of his own stupidity. You can read the whole story Here:
Or Here:
or a more expanded version with the bartender in question here:

I'm not going to re-hash this story, because I can correctly assume you (as a reader of this blog) can not only read, but also follow links if you are interested. Let's just say, he probably won't be drinking anywhere near Capital Hill in Seattle ever again.
So, in the spirit of things, I am going to give you a list of things YOU can do to piss off a Bartender (because you too could be achieve fame by being the next Andrew!).

1. Obviously, number one is by not tipping your bartender (and telling her to lose weight gets you bonus points - just like Andrew!) Because nothing is a more sure fire way to piss off a bartender than not to tip, except maybe to not pay.

2. Be sure to snap your fingers, yell "HEY" or "HEY YOU", or shake your empty glass at the bartender. This is an EXCELLENT way to get their attention for another drink.

3. Be sure to ask, 'What do you have?" ESPECIALLY when you walk up to a bar and are faced with hundreds of bottles of liquor, 17 beers on tap, 22 different bottled beers, 9 types of red wine, 6 types of white wine, and a variety of non-alcoholic drinks, I am sure the bartender will magically just know what you like and be able to recommend something.

4. Lest not forget, when standing at a busy bar, make sure to order a very complicated drink, one that the bartender will either have to look up, or ask you how it is made. That will make you look both superior in your bar knowledge and impress your friends.

5. And finally - lean over the bar... WAAAAY OVER
and just help yourself - the fruit and veggies are FREE!

If you have done any of these things... CONGRATULATIONS! You have succeeded in pissing off a bartender and are officially a douche canoe.